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For most people, your home is your castle. This saying reflects the fact that you are safe in your own home, can relax, unwind, and deal with the stresses of the day.

However, for some people, this isn’t the case. Being at home doesn’t reduce stress, it increases it as they have a partner that terrifies them and there is the constant fear of injury and reprisals. It’s estimated 2.2 million Australians have experienced physical or sexual abuse and 3.6 million Australians have experienced emotional abuse.

Worryingly, cases of domestic abuse have risen during the COVID lockdown years, this includes an increase in the number of domestic killings.

Of course, as an outsider, the logical thing to do is speak with a specialist in family law Sydney and get out of the relationship. But, the reality is that it’s not always that simple.

Feelings of Love

It may seem surprising but most abused people start out in a normal relationship, the couple is very much in love and appear very happy. It’s only in time that the abusive side appears. In most cases the first instance is a simple slap then it gradually becomes worse.

The issue is compounded by the partner’s instant apology and assurances both of love and that it will never happen again. This is often enough for a loving partner to stay with them. The longer it goes on the harder it is for someone to leave.

This is partly because they love their partner and also because they start to see themselves as part of the issue. Blaming themselves is normal although clearly wrong.

Concerns Over The Children

In addition, many abused people have children to consider. They fear leaving would give their partner the children and they would be subject to abuse. To protect the children they stay in the abusive relationship.

Fear

One of the biggest reasons people don’t leave an abuser is fear. They are afraid the abuser will find them and extract a more painful revenge. This fear helps them to reason that it is better to stay with the abuser than to leave.

Dealing With Domestic Abuse

While the above reasons are honourable, the reality is that the longer they stay with an abusive partner the higher the likelihood that the violence will escalate and leave them dead.

It is difficult to deal with domestic abuse but there are steps you can take:

• Talk To Someone

The first step is to talk to someone. This can be a friend or a dedicated counsellor. They will listen, allowing you to vent. They should also be able to help you see that leaving is the only safe choice and there is a support network that can take care of you.  The next person to talk to is a lawyer. 

“Speaking with a family lawyer will help you know what your rights are when you leave, so you can take all possible precautions to ensure a safe and financially stable future for you and your children,” said Jennifer Hetherington, Divorce Lawyer Brisbane.

• Fabricate An Escape Plan

With this in mind, you will need to fabricate an escape plan. It’s best to do this while your partner is out, allowing you to get out of the house without facing them and potentially getting hurt again. Again, there are plenty of places that offer support to get you out and help you start again.